No Collars
What happens when ‘just get another job’ stops being an option—and where to find the people who’ll help you navigate what comes next.
“I don’t even understand why you’re stressing about anything. Why don’t you just go get a job somewhere? You could easily get any six-figure job you wanted.”
My sister was just trying to help. I’d stopped by to see how a new project of hers was going, and had made the mistake of sharing that I’d been feeling pretty stressed about what to do next in my career. A couple years prior, I’d left a position I’d loved and had done very well at, but had grown out of. My plan was to continue investing in real estate by doing flips and small multi-family renovations, as I’d done for the previous four years alongside that position. I’d grown confident in my abilities to find and complete successful projects, and I was excited about the possibilities that lay ahead.
Less than three months after making that leap—with just enough financial cushion to carry me until I built some momentum on my own—COVID hit. The world stopped.
And for a surreal period of time, most of us sat in the uncomfortably-stuck place we call ‘limbo’: the place of ‘definitely not how it used to be’ but before any of us had any idea what might happen next.
My lucky stars
Lucky for me, one stellar acquisition right at the starting gate of the pandemic cushioned my bank account even further. We got the renovation done on a two-bedroom bungalow and then sold it in record time, for way more than we’d projected, into one of the most meteoric—and completely nonsensical—rises in real estate values a generation had ever seen. Certainly a bigger rise than I’d personally experienced yet, given my relatively recent foray into that world.
But after that project, the numbers on nearly every property I looked at stopped making sense. No flip was going to provide a decent return—if any at all—since the entry prices had gone so high. And I wasn’t confident about what future values nor market demand were safe to bank on anymore.
So I pivoted. I’d taken a course on options trading about a year before COVID, so I started playing my hand at that, winning pretty steadily thanks to the rapid run-up of the markets that followed the initial March 2020 crater. I made some great cash for a while—but the risk profile was ultimately outside what I wanted to rely on as a long-term strategy.
So then I took on a six-month contract position—as I’d done many times before, and still continue to do in my role as a coach and small business consultant at Dreamsmith®—in this case, to help friends open a new business: a boutique motel in a busy beach town. It was a massive job, and I got it done successfully in the allotted time, but it was also one of the toughest and most demanding gigs I’d ever agreed to, and I burned myself out (rather completely, I might add) in the process of it.
So even though it was a huge relief once the project was finally done, it also left me back in that limbo space again—that place of not-knowing that happens in between what had been, and what was to come next. Plus, in between all of that, I’d also started—and later ended—an eighteen-month relationship. During which period—suffice it to say, to keep a long story short—I also moved homes not once, but five times in the span of four years.
It was a lot of change. Of all different kinds. Not always everything changing all at once, but multiple overlaps in multiple categories multiple times.
A turbulent time, to say the least.
What all that change taught me
That’s just one of several heavy seasons of change in my life. I’ve had many. Living through that much change at once is not for the faint of heart, but it is what helped me to develop an understanding of the change cycle—the predictable stages you’ll go through in any kind of change, whether it’s change made by choice, or change because of chance or circumstance. It was all these change experiences—personally, professionally, you name it—over the course of my life that helped me put together my Navigating Change class—because knowing what stage you’re in, what to expect from it, and what stages are still ahead can help you have patience and keep perspective with the process.
But even knowing all that still doesn’t necessarily make change easy. Tony Robbins talks about two of the six core human needs that exist in productive tension: certainty (safety, predictability, control) and variety (surprise, change, new stimuli). Which is partly why change—even change that we choose—can be exciting and unsettling all at the same time. Energizing and unmooring. Not either/or, but both/and.
A bigger kind of limbo is coming
There’s a lot happening these days that we might call ‘unsettling’ or ‘unmooring’. I’ve written a lot about it here in The Chrysalis already, because humanity is in the midst of what is undoubtedly a huge period of collective change. We can all feel it. Besides all the economic, geopolitical, and environmental changes going on, there’s no doubt that AI is also going to drastically and deeply change how we live, work, and function in society—if it hasn’t already done so in your world.
Robotics aren’t far behind—they’ve already alleviated gargantuan amounts of physical labour (think factory automation and large-scale construction equipment)—and when you pair robotics with AI, there’s no telling what other so-far-exclusively-human jobs will be replaced by machines that don’t have to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom.
Sooner than most might be anticipating, my guess is that we’ll end up feeling like we’re in the midst of another surreal period of time, when many—if not most—of us will find ourselves sitting again in one of those uncomfortably-stuck places we call ‘limbo’: the place of ‘definitely not how it used to be’ that happens before any of us have any idea what might happen next.
Why this space exists
That’s a big reason why I’ve created this space here in The Chrysalis—to share, out loud, what I’m observing and thinking as all of this unfolds. Not to prescribe, but to describe. To share the stories that have taught me something about navigating life in this world, and the tools and ideas that have helped me come out the other side of every hard season, every single time. Because if my stories can help you find a little more wisdom, serenity, or courage in yours, then it’s time well-spent.
Introducing The Chrysalis Community
That’s also why I’ve created something new to add to this space, starting today. The Chrysalis Community is a new, members-only gathering place for women and men who are brave enough to embark on a journey of conscious change, who want to connect with like-minded seekers who are daring to live their life more authentically, and to join others in their quest to build a life they love.
Because what I’ve found over the years is that being with others who’ve been through something similar—and who will support you not necessarily by giving advice, but just by listening, by thinking things through together, and asking questions more from curiosity and care than in an attempt to problem-solve or to fix—makes the journey so much easier to bear.
Maybe even a little bit more fun, too.
So, starting this week and on the second Tuesday of each month going forward, members of The Chrysalis Community will be able to join me live for an online, peer-to-peer, coffee-house type discussion about all the changes going on, both in your own world and in the world at large.
I’m going to start to share a guided reflection prompt or thought exercises at the end of each post that everyone—including non-members (free subscribers and the general public)—will be able to see, but only members of The Chrysalis Community will be able to share comments and insights on the posts. Only members will be invited to come together for the live discussions—like a speakeasy of sorts, where an inner circle of fellow travellers on this adventure of life casually gather to explore these reflection prompts and exercises, online once every month.
By coming together in this way, all of us will each learn from—and enrich—the conversation. You’ll find full details, including pricing, at the button below.
I’d love for you to join us. Plus, your paid support is what keeps these posts free to everyone, so thank you.
Back to that day with my sister
That day I shared my stresses with my sister, I wasn’t even asking for her input or her advice, exactly. I was just feeling a bit lost and overwhelmed, and her response—well-meaning though it may have been intended—only made me feel misunderstood and unsupported. “Do you even know me?”, I wondered silently. ‘Just going to get a job somewhere’ was not the stress-relieving solution I was looking for. I was trying to figure out what my purpose was, and how to create a life around a vocation that I somehow felt deep inside me, but that I couldn’t yet find words to describe.
So I went home after that visit, settled in at my desk and opened my laptop, hoping to do some research that might help me find some answers. The system-generated screensaver popped up, and I sat there for a while staring at the stock image of a small tent with a warm glow of light coming from inside, the only sign of life on a wide-open plain beneath a dark but starry night sky.
In that moment, I felt a little bit like the lone person I imagined was huddled inside that tent: unsure exactly what was out there in the open field that now surrounded me, what the dawn might bring, nor which direction I would head next. But just like in the image, I could feel a little light of sorts shining inside of me, warm and glowing, even though it was still outwardly surrounded by the darkness of the unknown.
‘Just going to get another job somewhere’ may soon not be an easy option for many—or eventually any—of us, as AI takes over more and more desktop work, and robotics takes over more and more physical labour. There are going to be new jobs, surely; new roles for us to play, new responsibilities that humans alone will be able to fulfill…but there may first come a surreal period of time, even if only temporary, where you find yourself in ‘limbo’, where life is ‘definitely not how it used to be’ before you have any idea what might happen next.
And that place is so much harder to navigate alone.
But The Chrysalis will be here, with stories of personal transformation and reinvention, stories of conscious becoming and deliberate life design. The Chrysalis Community will be here too, for thought-provoking, compassionate conversation, for contemplative listening and collective wisdom-sharing.
So here’s the reflection prompt I’d like to leave you with for today. Get out your journal, go sit in nature somewhere if possible, and write down your thoughts on this idea:
If AI were to take all the white-collar jobs, and robotics were to take all the blue-collar jobs—what’s left for us?
No collars.
What role are you drawn to play in a world where “just get a job” is no longer the automatic answer? What does your work—or your world—look like when you don’t have a ‘collar’?
If you’re joining me in The Chrysalis Community, this thought exercise is where we’ll begin our discussion online this Tuesday at 7pm ET. You’ll find details and pricing at the button below, and you’ll get the link to join our online call in a welcome email when you upgrade to become a paid member:
I hope I’ll see you there.
Let’s gently become together.💛
Kelly
PS—If the “no collars” question stirred something in you, made you uncomfortable, or made you want to keep thinking about it, that’s exactly the kind of person The Chrysalis Community is being built for. Come find your people. Our first gathering is Tuesday, July 14, 7pm ET.